Reply To: Lacinema

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This is a great post and it brings up a lot of qutiesons for me qutiesons I’ve been wrestling with myself. But first, I think the confusion, at least in my experience comes from that place of not understanding the other person (where they are coming from, where their commitment level lies if that is important to you or what their motives toward me are). When I overthink things I get into trouble here. I suspect, though I am not certain, that when it comes to sex the quality of the relationship makes a huge difference in the quality of the sexual experience. Yes, you can have good sex without the relationship and good sex can be spoiled by bad relationship but it seems that eventually most people want the really emotional sex where both people are loving and caring and connected somehow other than physically for that moment to each other. Even in a good marriage, sex isn’t always the same thing each time for both partners. That’s life, it isn’t a deal breaker. Even in relationships where the couple is co-habitating I suspect (though I can’t say from my own experience) the same thing happens. One person is just horny and the other wants or has an emotional connection it can happen does happen. I think the confusion occurs when the act of sex is taken out of the context of meaningful relationship and the two parties have differing expectations, hopes, needs, whatever and they don’t have or won’t have the vehicle of the relationship through which to resolve those differences.Just my take. My big qutiesons around this topic have more to do with what the role of sex is in a relationship and what does it mean for a man or a woman and how those two perspectives are the same and how they are different. I am working on a post to this effect as we speak, I will probably link to yours here!Thanks for bringing up the topic.

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